Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize