I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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