I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
