And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
