People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
