found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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