would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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