But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
