By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
