Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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