If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
