i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
