On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
