I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
