i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
