Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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