she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
