yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
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