with your own penis?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
