He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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