Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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