How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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