haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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