We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
