Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.

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(513): theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me. http://tfl.nu/ioo3

Replies (26) Good night (5014) Bad night (732)
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(813): View more from Florida

Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.

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(813): Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive. http://tfl.nu/ya8a

Replies (13) Good night (876) Bad night (3489)
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(207): View more from Maine

Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...

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(207): Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight... http://tfl.nu/a8ub

Replies (25) Good night (3767) Bad night (1038)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.

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(814): I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day. http://tfl.nu/s1o1

Replies (5) Good night (5537) Bad night (780)
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(+64): View more from New Zealand

I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer

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(+64): I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer http://tfl.nu/8v2s

Replies (14) Good night (1777) Bad night (3594)
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(716): View more from New York

ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.

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(716): ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck. http://tfl.nu/am3q

Replies (7) Good night (1573) Bad night (2793)
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(303): View more from Colorado

she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone

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(303): she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone http://tfl.nu/1ml1

Replies (20) Good night (1179) Bad night (6339)
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(714): View more from California

She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.

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(714): She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse. http://tfl.nu/v3q7

Replies (8) Good night (1101) Bad night (2223)
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(563): View more from Iowa

I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?

(208): View more from Idaho

Beautiful, beautiful reality

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(563): I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality? (208): Beautiful, beautiful reality http://tfl.nu/pfhr

Replies (3) Good night (2140) Bad night (647)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep

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(860): You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep http://tfl.nu/5kc4

Replies (4) Good night (1220) Bad night (572)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?

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(201): Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion? http://tfl.nu/hwen

Replies (8) Good night (1166) Bad night (550)
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(913): View more from Kansas

How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?

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(913): How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex? http://tfl.nu/1k3m

Replies (0) Good night (647) Bad night (331)
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(512): View more from Texas

The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.

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(512): The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting. http://tfl.nu/6bg7

Replies (2) Good night (507) Bad night (336)
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(989): View more from Michigan

You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.

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(989): You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over. http://tfl.nu/a38d

Replies (1) Good night (482) Bad night (271)
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(985): View more from Louisiana

He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"

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(985): He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal" http://tfl.nu/l9pc

Replies (1) Good night (365) Bad night (139)

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