Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.

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(404): I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me. http://tfl.nu/iup7

Replies (12) Good night (708) Bad night (4539)
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(404): View more from Georgia

we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it

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(404): we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it http://tfl.nu/n2gi

Replies (31) Good night (960) Bad night (8855)
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(530): View more from California

my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...

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(530): my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad... http://tfl.nu/yh1f

Replies (52) Good night (2295) Bad night (10087)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.

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(412): I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door. http://tfl.nu/f9if

Replies (9) Good night (4369) Bad night (1295)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.

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(701): I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot. http://tfl.nu/vxu1

Replies (9) Good night (4244) Bad night (868)
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(214): View more from Texas

So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far

(713): View more from Texas

Sounds better than last semester

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(214): So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far (713): Sounds better than last semester http://tfl.nu/9h5w

Replies (12) Good night (1544) Bad night (4543)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you

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(262): When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you http://tfl.nu/zf8b

Replies (8) Good night (3251) Bad night (1173)
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(574): View more from Indiana

Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool

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(574): Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool http://tfl.nu/b45a

Replies (7) Good night (653) Bad night (1376)
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(716): View more from New York

I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober

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(716): I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober http://tfl.nu/smc1

Replies (8) Good night (1606) Bad night (693)
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(917): View more from New York City

every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.

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(917): every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate. http://tfl.nu/13a6

Replies (16) Good night (3841) Bad night (806)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.

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(781): I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone. http://tfl.nu/b6do

Replies (6) Good night (797) Bad night (1034)
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(509): View more from Washington

also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.

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(509): also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight. http://tfl.nu/qnxk

Replies (10) Good night (907) Bad night (905)
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(928): View more from Arizona

Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!

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(928): Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!! http://tfl.nu/q83i

Replies (3) Good night (1114) Bad night (376)
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(319): View more from Iowa

I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.

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(319): I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls. http://tfl.nu/wkuc

Replies (3) Good night (417) Bad night (718)
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(985): View more from Louisiana

I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary

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(985): I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary http://tfl.nu/6z7x

Replies (4) Good night (316) Bad night (259)

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