Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool. http://tfl.nu/00u1
  Replies (25) Good night (1200) Bad night (4940) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome. http://tfl.nu/dlib
  Replies (23) Good night (1486) Bad night (3163) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You love popeyes more than me

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): You love popeyes more than me (1-402): does delicious chicken come out of your vagina? http://tfl.nu/hcyr
  Replies (34) Good night (4636) Bad night (1003) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds http://tfl.nu/u8pq
  Replies (36) Good night (6191) Bad night (875) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  How am I a tease?

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.

  (813): View more from Florida

  ONLY PART OF IT.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): How am I a tease? (1-813): Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away. (813): ONLY PART OF IT. http://tfl.nu/b7xa
  Replies (45) Good night (8231) Bad night (1448)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I understand why you refuse to be sober now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): I understand why you refuse to be sober now http://tfl.nu/j30b
  Replies (8) Good night (4705) Bad night (878) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?" http://tfl.nu/jp4f
  Replies (14) Good night (1125) Bad night (5512) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo" http://tfl.nu/ucwd
  Replies (8) Good night (3104) Bad night (786) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling. http://tfl.nu/sj19
  Replies (6) Good night (2624) Bad night (656) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers http://tfl.nu/1krf
  Replies (12) Good night (3824) Bad night (668) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good. http://tfl.nu/jyv0
  Replies (4) Good night (1567) Bad night (545) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  How about a mike?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Already had two of those

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day (617): How about a mike? (978): Already had two of those http://tfl.nu/wf5g
  Replies (4) Good night (1465) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks. http://tfl.nu/jloo
  Replies (11) Good night (726) Bad night (2365) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (747): View more from California

  by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (747): by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party. http://tfl.nu/9v1z
  Replies (7) Good night (1893) Bad night (498)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing. http://tfl.nu/ca26
  Replies (1) Good night (556) Bad night (173) Order T-Shirt

Randomize