Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(318): View more from Louisiana

All of his creepy stalker friends want you too

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(318): All of his creepy stalker friends want you too http://tfl.nu/8m59

Replies (25) Good night (583) Bad night (865)
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(631): View more from New York

Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key

(631): View more from New York

had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.

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(631): Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key (631): had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now. http://tfl.nu/o06a

Replies (21) Good night (938) Bad night (883)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?

(401): View more from Rhode Island

we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.

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(401): remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice? (401): we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession. http://tfl.nu/61ek

Replies (41) Good night (811) Bad night (2664)
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(661): View more from California

We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex

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(661): We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex http://tfl.nu/uikr

Replies (23) Good night (812) Bad night (7492)
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(386): View more from Florida

he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"

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(386): he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor" http://tfl.nu/h9m9

Replies (26) Good night (1250) Bad night (5422)
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(216): View more from Ohio

She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.

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(216): She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here. http://tfl.nu/4k59

Replies (65) Good night (2892) Bad night (5375)
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(817): View more from Texas

Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.

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(817): Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period. http://tfl.nu/d1q3

Replies (7) Good night (5058) Bad night (975)
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(219): View more from Indiana

you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.

(949): View more from California

she's my drunk super hero.

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(219): you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds. (949): she's my drunk super hero. http://tfl.nu/ngha

Replies (17) Good night (5673) Bad night (1234)
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(678): View more from Georgia

i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend

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(678): i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend http://tfl.nu/xiia

Replies (7) Good night (3660) Bad night (1080)
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(630): View more from Illinois

He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.

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(630): He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding. http://tfl.nu/mxqh

Replies (1) Good night (1255) Bad night (2517)
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(518): View more from New York

I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.

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(518): I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down. http://tfl.nu/m8at

Replies (18) Good night (2679) Bad night (902)
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(315): View more from New York

I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes

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(315): I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes http://tfl.nu/99as

Replies (5) Good night (1749) Bad night (522)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.

(1-314): View more from Missouri

Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.

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(314): I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault. (1-314): Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush. http://tfl.nu/fjsh

Replies (5) Good night (1304) Bad night (658)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is

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(306): For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is http://tfl.nu/ppgp

Replies (8) Good night (763) Bad night (360)
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(773): View more from Illinois

He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work

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(773): He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work http://tfl.nu/kpsp

Replies (0) Good night (686) Bad night (190)

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