Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
