Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
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What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I just googled if crying burns calories
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
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I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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