I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
... don't judge me
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.