a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow