There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize