ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
