He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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