the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
