how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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