He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
