if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
