Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
