You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I can't put those talents on a resume
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
