i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
