I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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