This is not my ceiling
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
