Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize
