I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize