How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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