And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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