Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
