Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
