My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
