So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
