You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
