He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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