i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
