This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
