I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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