Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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