I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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