Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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