I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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