speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
