I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
