does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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