just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
