$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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